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As I waited with baited breath, her large lips parted, and a thick, slippery tongue twisted towards me, pushing past my lips and into my mouth. The me...allic taste was familiar, the slick sensations of her tongue probing inside my mouth and throat made my knees weak. She brought her face in and her lips met mine, her tongue roving with renewed force, spiraling around mine as if she wanted to strangle it. My mind fizzed and popped, it was her! How? What were the odds of meeting her here? My mind. Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked. I was glad he agreed to let your Mom have it in the settlement so that she could give it to you and Racquel, it’s so nice that you won’t have to move away.’ ‘Yeah, but I don’t always want to be remembering that this was the same house that I grew up in,’ Bryan sighed. ‘Especially not during … you know.’ Alexus laughed, remembering that fucking her and Heather in this house hadn’t seemed to bother him before. She let Bryan continue with his thoughts. ‘Some people might be cool with that, but I’m. Fiona also got a first, Toni got a 2:1. Both their degrees were about right, mine was a fluke (I put it down to my exam answer that suggested Shakespeare wasn’t the world’s best playwright – some professors like a bit of iconoclasm).When Gramps died, we all thought granny would, or even should, sell up and move somewhere else. Somewhere with a bus service at least. But she didn’t. She said Johnny (son of Johnny; actually the spitting image of him) would hate it in a town. Old Johnny was on his.
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