Dee wished that the dreams would stay in her mind, but they seemed to slip away from her when she was awake. Aside from these times of peacefulness, D...e did feel a little lonely, as she knew that she was the odd one out in this household.Penn and Madeleine enjoyed her company, of course, and they all spent a lot of the expansive time in the house playing games with her and generally horsing around, but she was never sure if Madeleine regarded her as a close friend. Dee felt that she had lost. ...you know...like...like you like a boy. Its just that sometimes when I see another girl or even an older woman I....I....f..f..feel like I do when I want to.....oh god....just forget it...I'm just a mess.", and turned to walk away again.Again Shirley stopped her and asked her directly, "Karen do you mean you get turned on thinking of a girl or woman sexually sometimes?" Yeah, I know I'm really a mess. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't control it and it really makes me. It was especially challenging because so much depended on production teams outside our direct control.What a blast. Under pressure your options are to cave or to thrive, and we weren't cavers. Designing workflows that cover a wall, then seeing items filled in and ticked off as the million-dollar train approaches, provides a rush like a drug.If the people mix is wrong it can be a chore and a headache. But when it's right, it's camaraderie squared. Bantering, bickering, inside jokes, shared meals. I have a sister! Well, my collective of personalities woven into my Spirit has a sister. Peter is just as much a part of my Spirit as I am. So, because he is a part me, Sara IS my sister.Although it's almost like he's hidden somewhere back there deep inside of me. Perhaps he's hiding behind something like the curtain the Wizard of Oz used. He's just there, pulling all of the levers and pushing all of the buttons. Controlling everything. I do know Peter's there. I just don't really have contact.
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